


I'm too sexy for my nomenclature

by Syrena_of_the_lake



Series: Syrena's 3-sentence fics [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 3 Sentence Ficathon, 3 Sentence Fiction, Acronyms, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-31 01:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3959260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syrena_of_the_lake/pseuds/Syrena_of_the_lake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's in a name? A series of 3-sentence crack-fics in which Voldemort should have asked himself that very question. He might also want to consider alphabet soup or Scrabble letters as more viable alternatives for generating acronyms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm too sexy for my nomenclature

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RuanChunXian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuanChunXian/gifts).



> Prompt: Voldemort, what is the point of having a super-clever anagram name if no one ever uses it?

Granted, the awe and quaking fear were gratifying, but the euphemisms were rather lackluster; oh, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-Without-Hyphens was suitably impressive in that vague sort of way, but how did one form a possessive?

It was enough to put You-Know-Whose knickers in a knot. Perhaps he should have used an acronym (Tom Riddle the Incredibly Powerful and Perenially Young?) or maybe a palindrome... chicks dig those, right?

* * *

Tom mused on what a lucky thing it was to have Marvolo as a middle name (what would he have done had he been stuck with Frank, or Bertram?), yet he still felt a vague dissatisfaction. Everybody loved acronyms these days, but all his best ideas were already taken! It was a shame, too - he thought "Love Snakes or Die" had been truly inspired. 

* * *

The hardest thing about developing the ultimate secret weapon, Lord Voldemort discovered, was naming it. He liked to think he had a flair for that sort of thing, but this one had him stumped. The Muggles had the A-bomb, the H-bomb and even the F-bomb (rather unimaginative, those Muggles), yet the most fearsome wizard of the age could only come up with DOODAD (Death Or Other Doom to Albus Dumbledore).

* * *

"Release the DOODAD!" thundered Lord Voldemort, his malevolence turning to confusion and then indignation when Potter and those other fools burst into laughter - evenLongbottom was laughing - Longbottom! How had things spiraled so far out of control? 

"Crabbe, Goyle," he hissed, "stop giggling and go kill something, you simpering idiots!"


End file.
